I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
