also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
