What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
