Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
