Your tits are I can't wait for
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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