shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My vagina is officially offended.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
