when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
