like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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