Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
