and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
