ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
