she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
