so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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