I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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