Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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