honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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