I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
