Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
