Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
