bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
