we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
he puts the penis in happiness.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
