HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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