It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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