I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There are leaves in my underwear?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
