gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
its liver damage thursday
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
