Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
