Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
