She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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