thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love having hate sex.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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