Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
vagina is talking i cant
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
