batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
