I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
