I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
