So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
