We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
