highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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