Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dicks are not precious.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
