I don't think brook has ever known best
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
