don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
