Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
