What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
