you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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