So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My feet surprised me
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