Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
