I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
