i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
