he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wish you could order shots online.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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