you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
