Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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