I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
