If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
