Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
