I was born with a shot glass in my hand
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
